I was conceived out of wedlock to two great people who knew very little about raising a child, let alone being husband and wife. Both came from broken families (nine divorces between their own parents) and yet they had the best of intentions when they decided to get married. When I was two years old, Dad became stir crazy with family responsibilities, and sought greener pastures. Though Dad and Mom had few nice things to say about each other, I always hoped we’d one day be a happy family. Even Mom’s second marriage or Dad’s remarriage failed to fulfill my craving for a whole family. At age six I was diagnosed with ADD. And though medication showed promise taming my scattered mind and rambunctious behavior, taking the meds at school brought too much unwanted attention from my peers. I finally refused to take them altogether. I grew up thinking I was a mistake. Somehow, since I wasn’t planned for I felt I wasn’t meant to be here. This damaged my self-worth and further alienated me from the world. Mom did her best, raising me alone, but she had little modeling for effective mothering, so much of life’s education came from peers and television. TV became my primary caregiver until Mom got home from work.

At school, I was passed from grade to grade without ever meeting the necessary grade requirements. At least I was consistent, basically receiving straights F’s. Though a good athlete, I never connected with the jocks. But the burnouts (partiers) were happy to have me. Finally, I had a way out of my lonely existence. I sought to establish my identity by doing everything they were doing, but doing it bigger, bolder, and harder. In so doing I left a wake of frustrated teachers, counselors, parents, and friends behind. I was a blackout drunk at the age of 14. By junior year, with the threat of having to repeat another year, Dad whisked me out to the mid-west to live with him. Now, a high school dropout working an upwardly mobile position at Kentucky Fried Chicken, I sought another escape and joined a roofing company. Yet after three years I saw the suits on the ground and realized “That’s where it’s at. This construction stuffs not me.” So I quit and started attending junior college. To my surprise, I actually did pretty well (B’s & C’s) when I studied. But I ended up quitting that too. It turns out that I was an expert starter, but a poor finisher. So I joined the world of suits. All was fine, until I hit my proverbial bottom at 26.

My history of drinking and drugging, and acting like I had all the answers, came to an abrupt halt. Sincerely believing I was insane, I quit my sales job at a prestigious company; I was just posing anyway, and sought counseling. Call it fate, but this counselor had over 20years of sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). Patiently, she picked apart my façade, and it wasn’t long before I attended an AA meeting, gripping my seat for dear life. Yet I heard men and women share their stories, which strangely paralleled my own. Then one day I stood and announced “I’m an alcoholic.” I got a sponsor and started my journey in recovery. I started feeling real feelings, and I didn’t die. I felt true happiness being sober, and just hanging with my sober buddies. I had always believed in God, and AA’s encouragement to get a higher power got me seeking a higher truth. I started attending a young adult church group, and it wasn’t long before I found the God of the Bible and his son Jesus Christ, and received forgiveness and the genuine salvation I was looking for. I then left AA, the source of my initial recovery. Found a good Christian girl to marry, changed jobs again, and began my new life as a believer.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t done growing or healing from my past. I had no clue how to be a man, or a husband, let alone a father, but that didn’t stop me from adopting children. I am lucky to have truly wonderful children, but what did I know about parenting? Their presence only exacerbated another addiction I had developed in place of alcoholism, which I had prayed thousands of times to be free of. I couldn’t talk with anyone at church; everyone seemed so perfect, so I just fought harder to maintain that illusion too. I was in denial of the severity of my new addiction, and ended up hurting everyone close to me. After 14 years of marriage, my house of cards came tumbling down, and in no time, I was divorced, unemployed, and selling our home. I felt like a complete loser and couldn’t believe I had failed, yet again, even while sober and with Christianity. I desperately needed hope. Hope came from getting right with God; rejoining the rooms of recovery; getting counseling; and finding a good Life Coach.

All my worldly pursuits, and corporate work, failed to prepare me for the three most important roles of my life: serving God, being a good husband, and being a good father. I vowed never to return to my so-called life, and sought to help men overcome their poor choices and step up to their important roles in life. I believe it unrealistic to expect the vast majority of men to become automatic winners with the most important jobs on the planet with little more than on-the-job-training. So, to help men avoid my own pitfalls, and become leaders and heroes for their own families, I received my Coaching certification and sought to learn all I could about men, their needs, and their challenges.

Today I am happily married to an amazing woman, who is without a doubt my best friend, and lil’princess. She has stuck with me during my maturation process, and prayed fervently while Recovery Planet got off the ground. On the other side of my past hurts is a business I am passionately proud of, and a love, friendship, and devotion that is simply…to die for.

Is my life perfect now? You’re kidding right? There is no such thing. But today I have the privilege of getting closer to perfection one choice, one sacrifice, and one day at a time. I have much more to learn, but now I have hope and strength like never before. If life throws me a curve ball and drops me to my knees, I don’t stay down. I pray, I get up, I realign my bearings, I garner the necessary support from others, and press on. Now my life is being lived full-out, while my past keeps me humble, serving as a road map to help keep me on the straight and narrow.

May you never cease fighting to recover and become what you were destined to be, and become all that your wife, children, and this world desperately needs.

With heartfelt love and commitment.

Yours truly,
Coach Kris
Nationally Certified Life Coach

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